Yes, You Too Can Avoid a Nasty Divorce

88 [the saddest dog on earth]The hope is that when you walk down the aisle with the love of your life that you’ll stay together through good times and bad. The harsh truth is that almost half of all marriages end in divorce. Once you’ve embraced the idea that divorce is the best option and you’ve hired an experienced Westchester divorce attorney then you’ll begin the filing and settlement process. This is where is can get nasty but it doesn’t have to end up that way. If there are kids in the picture then you really want to avoid turning on your former spouse. Here are some helpful tips to keep your divorce civil and fair.

  • Whenever Possible, Settle Out of Court

When all is said and done, the court will have to issue the final divorce ruling but there is no reason why you and your former spouse can’t present a united front to the judge. This can be accomplished if you work out all the details outside of court. You can settle matters regarding visitation, alimony and property distribution over a law office conference table. That’s because even if you can reach these types of settlements you’ll still need the services of a family law attorney who understands the New York divorce law to draw up all the papers. It’s got to be official to stick.

  • Leave Your Emotions At the Door

There could be plenty of raw feelings as you head into a divorce procedure. That’s understandable but you have to leave those feelings “at the door” otherwise your anger and resentment could get the best of you. Keep in mind, that what you’re working out isn’t just for the next couple of months but for years to come. Hopefully, after a two or three years any bitterness will be gone but you’ll still have to live with the financial decisions you made in your divorce. This is another perfect reason why you need a good family law lawyer on your side; they’ll talk you down when necessary.

  • Learn Your Household Budget

As it usually happens in a marriage, one person handles the bills. If you’re not that person then you need to have a crash course in your monthly household expenses. You might have a vague notion of where the money goes but when it comes to determining child support or alimony those numbers will be extremely important.

  • Be Smart With Joint Debt

A majority of a divorce is taken up with untangling assets such as joint credit cards or bank accounts. If there is money that is owed on a credit account you’ll want to be fair about splitting that debt. The goal should be to find a way to pay down that debt as quickly as possible or negotiate that the other spouse will assume that debt. If that happens, you need to make sure your name is removed from the account. You should also cancel those joint accounts and start fresh with your own credit history. The goal should be not to leave your partner high and dry. They’ll still need credit cards and nobody wants to default on a debt. Remember, when times were good you both benefited from creating that debt so you both should pay it off.

  • Embrace You New Life

The reason you’re getting a divorce is because you’re life is going to be better outside of the marriage. That should be the prize you keep your eye on. To get there you might have to make sacrifices. Someone might be moving from a terrific home to a smaller apartment but you’ll have your independence. And just because you’ve tightened the budget doesn’t mean it’s always going to be that way. At some point, monthly child support and alimony will end. Before that accept the responsibility and move on. Your experienced Westchester divorce lawyer can show you the way.

photo by: eblaser